Suenos Americanos

I walked into the store of self-improvement the other day
And ordered up one Sueno Americano
The sales rep went back in the back and brought out a size extra small
Sure my boyfriend was hunting through ladies low rise and singing Shakira
But did i ask for latex

As I reached to take the shirt
It dropped from his hands
And unfolded on the tile floor
Lying there it looked so small and unimpressive
Half legible letters printed on thick red cotton
But the words promised so much
With dollar signs poiting skyward to clouds that would embrace you in a single national culture
Like sneeches with stars upon thars I imagined myself vested in black surrounded by similar promises on green backed wings in mists of normalcy and baby blue success
And pulled it from the floor

The changing rooms were cramped with people trying on blue and red, rotating before mirrors long plastered with magazine covers and full size movie posters
Ooo girl, that shirt too tight
O boy, you could fit a family of seven in that one
opening the only empty stall I step inside
The mirrors already tell me how good I look with eyes like Tom and a chin like Brad
But, if memory serves, my skin was not so light

TEAR DOWN POSTERS

Thats better
Or maybe a little worse
But hell at least its honest

TAKING OFF SHIRT AND PUTTING OTHER ONE ON

Alright (EYES CLOSED EXCITED TO SEE)

OPENING EYES
is this how its supposed to fit?
I feel so exposed, so uncomfortably suffocated
My arms bare up tp hair and my nipples like buttons
My shoulders terribly slanted and my roll exposing imperfection
Is this how its supposed to go
As an out brown male is this the extent of mi sueno Americano
Maybe if I stretch it...goes back up to here


Like a knife
The tag juts out of my back

Thank you for shopping Broken Dreams
As a proud owner of this Suenos Americanos T
You are entitled to full American cultural social and economic citizenship
That means as long as you wear the shirt, you get the money, the girl, kenny g’s jazz collection, a bucket of bleach, blue contacts, platforms, a penis enlarger and six cases of budweiser. Enjoy!

Warning: keep away from open flames and wear with like colors
Gradation of sizes, gradation of benefits

The mirror speaks truly
It fits poorly
In the process of taking it off, the shirt is ripped
I’ll have to pay the price but
with the scraps left over I can make something new

You see
With size small shirts I’ve got so little space to move and explore
With size small shirts my skin is bled pale
My lungs constricted
My voice a breathy, shrieking “he-ey”
With size small shirts I swing my step and I flail my hands
My heart gets compressed and all I need is sex
And if its not sex then its marriage
And foreign babies who will get excellent education with two daddies income
With a size small shirt I’ll have to watch my figure
I’ll stop eating pozole
And have no reason to visit my grandmother
My family will forget
And I will soon
And I’ll move to a city
And I’ll live in the bars
And I’ll watch my face plastered and fetishized on ads for Club Latino and Mocha Night
And in a size small shirt I’ll save my constricted breath from prayer
And only praise the latest line
I’ll karaokize madonna and copy her moves
Cuz size small shirts mean glass cielings and glass boxes
Specimen tables and push pins
Felt boards where your beautiful mariposa wings
Can be prodded and rubbed dry
Of the shimmer powder that lets you fly
And in a size small shirt
There just ain’t room for sky
Cuz here in red and blue
They make them for you
They fit them to you
They charge your name
And unless you make your own
All they got is extra small
Suenos Americanos